Tag: Family

Growing Old With You…

I’ve been thinking what I should do for the coming 14th anniversary of our marriage. Will it be the obligatory bouquet of flowers, the typical present (a handbag, show, phone, car and etc) and coupled with a nice dinner, or should it be another round of what I normally do, give my wife a nice big hug and tell her how much I love her after coming back from work.

Thinking about it, I think perhaps it’s more appropriate if I were to write about growing old with her.

Before I start, a friend of my wife told her that my writing on Mother’s Day didn’t mention her at all. Well, that’s because the queen of my life deserve a post of her own. The top two ladies in my life deserve a post of their own. Not shared between the two of them. And as always, my queen understood that. She told her friend, it’s Mother’s Day, so it was dedicated to his mother. Little that she know, a post is waiting for her.

When did I first met her…let’s see, it was probably around Apr/May 1998, in ITM Machang, Kelantan. We were going through Minggu Wawasan Siswa. Sort of an orientation week for all freshmen in ITM. The girls were separated from the boys. The only time we can see the opposite sex was when we were gathered in the main hall.

Aerial view of UiTM Kelantan in Machang. The place where I met the person I’ll be growing old with.

That was when I first saw her. She’s up on the stage, standing among the rest of the ladies that made up Class of 98. That was when I kinda got my first ever proper crush. Not a crush similar to the one I had on Meg Ryan, but a proper crush. She was probably 10-20 meters away from me up on the stage. You can’t really see her but there’s something in her eyes that drawn me to her. You could say she taught me the feeling of having a proper crush on the opposite sex.

Look at her, how could an eighteen years old not have a crush on Meg ryan in You’ve Got Mail

Five months in, we got to know each other pretty well. She’s the super friendly type while I’m the introvert type. We were on a bus going back to Kedah just after the first semester ended. We were together with a few more of our friends from up north. As the stars and planets aligned and our fate intertwined, the bus broke down and we were stranded somewhere in the middle of East-West highway near Gerik. With nothing else to do while we waited for the first light (and the replacement bus), we spent the night and the following morning talking to each other on the bus. It’s here she taught me how to talk to a lady properly and act like a gentleman keeping all 5-6 of us safe and helping each other.

We were stranded along the East-West Highway between Gerik and Jeli back in 1998, no smart phones, no internet. We only had each other company.

About a year later, we became closer together. She got a boyfriend of her own at the time. I always believed that I got a chance if she’s not yet engaged or married. I subscribed to this “best man wins” philosophy at the time. As she later realised, having me trying to be nice to her and trying to win her heart, probably made her situation with the boyfriend very difficult. She later told me that, it’ll never happen between us and to stop doing what I’m doing. She’s got a boyfriend and she chose him instead. Aaannnddd, that’s when she taught me how to face the horrors of rejection, sadness and bitterness.

Interestingly enough, the next few years were a period where I would look at her from far and keep the feelings to myself. We remained friends throughout and as luck (though I believed it to be my charming personality winning her over in the long run instead of luck. haha) would have it, the relationship with her boyfriend didn’t work out. It was then that I learned from her the true meaning of “playing the long game”.

Around 2001, we were studying in UiTM Arau, I learned another thing from her, that’s driving a car. Believe it or not, I got my driving skills from her nd no one else. We would be spending our afternoon and evening together in her car, around the beautiful streets of Arau, Perlis. She would let me drive her around, teaching me how to drive properly. To this day, she continues to correct me and scold me whenever I didn’t drive the way she taught me. Yup, imagine having this strict JPJ Officer next to you throughout your life, forever and ever and ever and ever, while you are driving. Aren’t I lucky? Lucky right? Right? Right? Anyone? Someone?

Typical scenery driving around Arau Perlis. I wish I have a photo of this scenery just before harvesting season. It’s oh-so-romantic as my wife would say.

Sometime in May 2014, both of us were in Kuala Lumpur, living the Malaysian dream of working in the heart of the city, I received a call from her, told me her mom and dad are in town. They would like to have lunch with me. I still remember my spider-sense were tingling when I heard that. But being in love, it has blind-sided me and I ignored it. I accepted the invitation and met with them in a restaurant somewhere near Jelatek. It was then I was asked the big question. Her mom (she’s one of the kindest human being I’ve ever know, al-Fatihah…) asked me, “So, you guys have been friends since the days in Kelantan. I believe it’s time to make it official. Don’t you think?” And that’s where I learned from her, not to ever, ever, ever, ever let myself ignore my spider-sense when it’s tingling. Hah!

Spider-sense is tingling!

On 3 June 2005 (3/6/5. 365…how can I forgot the date lah my dear) , we tied the knot. It was the happiest day in my life. Despite all the screw ups that happened throughout our wedding receptions, the thought of “I will now be able to grow old with her”, made me the happiest man alive on that day. It was then she taught me that a song doesn’t have to be popular to be your song.

So here it is Intan Suhara, it’s been some time since I sang this song for you. It wasn’t that great when I sang it to you back in the day and it sure won’t be great today. I was never the artistic one, it’s always been you. So I’ll let Adam Sandler have the honour to do it.

Happy Anniversary Intan. Thank you for all the love, kindness, support and most importantly, thank you for all the life lessons Alia, Danial, Ayra and of course, yours truly have learned from you.

The Captain Marvel, Black Widow, Valkyrie, Pepper, Peggy, Aunt May of My Life

This may be a little late, but as my Mother knows me best, I’m always late in everything, really, in literally everything when it comes to my Mom. She on the other hand, is always on time, on point, on the mark and on top of everything that she needs to be. She’s the Captain Marvel, Black Widow, Pepper, Peggy, Aunt May, Gamora, JJ, Nebula and all other Avengers, all rolled into one Super Mom, my own Super Mom.

That’s Bajunid’s Clan there, it’s the whole lot of us with some of my Aunt’s family thrown in. My Mom sits in the middle. That’s the Avengers in disguise there.

Just how super is she? For starters, she was the designated driver of our family for the longest time as our Yed (we call our father Yed) can’t drive a car till he was probably over 40 years old. So my Super Mom was the one who drove us all over Malaysia. Yup, she’s that super.

The earliest memory of my mom (We call her Mama) that I can remember was probably back when I was in kindergarten, a bit hazy though. I remember she was the one that sent and picked me up daily. At the time we were all in Dungun, Terengganu. She would drive our Toyota Corolla, with plate number TC1122 if I remember correctly. I’m not sure, it’s kinda hard to remember. I was only in kindy at the time. But Toyota was the first car manufacturer I know and the only driver was Mama.

Toyota Corolla 1978: If my memory serves me correctly, this was our car model and make back in the day. She was the sole driver for our family for many many years.

Fast forward a little bit, I was in Standard 1. I joined a school field trip to Kuala Lumpur with my brother. Being the only kid from Standard 1 joining a standard 5 and 6 field trip, I remember Mama was very worried letting me go. I can remember her worried face as she dropped us at the school that day. I remember she was telling my brother to take care of me. Though I can’t remember her telling me to be careful and be safe. Perhaps she knows I can take care of myself. Or perhaps did tell me to be careful, but you know me, I probably ignored it. It probably went into my left ear and went out immediately through my right ear. I can still remember her worried face looking at the bus and me as the bus drove off from the school compound.

Fast forward to 1990, she was super strong in going through her pregnancy carrying my youngest brother in her womb, all alone, as Yed just passed away a few months back. She was without her husband and carried my brother for probably 6 months. I can’t imagine what’s going through her head at the time. Having Yed just passed away, with her being pregnant and needing to take care of the four of us. It’s probably similar to the time Aunt May got to know Uncle Ben just passed and she needs to take care of Peter alone. But for Mama, needing to deal with being pregnant, taking care of 4 Peter Parkers, all still schooling, only 4 gajillions times harder I guess.
It would drive me nuts if it happened to me, but not Mama. She took it like a Champ. Super Mom with Super Strength indeed.

Mama and our youngest brother, she carried him alone for probably close to six months. That’s the very definition of super.

Fast forward a few years later, probably when I was in Form 2, the most rebellious period of my life. I just got back from a day out in the woods, we skipped school and stayed in a nearby woods, smoking tons of cigarettes , gambling and playing cards among the five or six of us. Later that evening, as I arrived home at about half past six, nobody was home…”weird”, I said to myself. A few moments later Mama arrived, and the first thing she asked was “Fikri pi mana tadi?”. Being the rebellious person I was at the time, confidently, I answered “Baru balik dari sekolah la”. PEDEPAAAANNNNNNNGGGG! a big snap slap full of anger and love all rolled into one, landed on my face. I got a few more slap afterwards whilst still trying to lie my way through it. That’s the Gamora in Mama bitch-slapping Rocket Raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy.

I couldn’t believe it, the place is still there. That’s the are where we used to have our hideout. The woods is no longer there though. Just an empty plot of land now.

Fast forward to form 5, a post-rehabilitation period of my life, I like to believe I was a better person compared to a few years prior. If there was a time where the looks on Mama’s face is so very happy/soothing/proud, I believe it was at that time. I can still remember the look, I don’t think I can ever forget it. It was a few months after SPM, I was working in KFC as cashier back in Sungai Petani, Kedah. It was lunch rush time, there were probably 5-6 customers queuing in front of me. I then noticed Mama was also in the line queuing, she looked at me squarely, with a big BIG smile on her face. The kind of smile you can only see once in a lifetime. Her piercing stare went straight through my eyes, I even felt the smile piercing stare. As she inched closer, waiting for her turn to be at the counter, her smile got bigger and bigger. I swear, she smiled so big, it can fill the whole floor of KFC, her smile’s aura lah. By the time she reached the counter, she said “Mama dah tengok result SPM Fikri, nak tau tak?”. By then I know the reason she smiled oh-so-wide. For those wondering, she worked as a school clerk, so she have access to SPM results a day or two earlier than the public lah. Even then, she asked for my permission first if I wanted to know now or later when I’m with my friends together at school with the rest of public. That’s the Aunt May in Mama, even though she knew I was Spider-Man, she kept it to herself and be proud of it on the inside and not spoil it for me. Remember don’t spoil Avengers: End Game. Mama knew not to spoil way back then already.

That’s the KFC where I saw Mama’s biggest smile ever.

I have a bunch of other stories to tell, all of which are about the Super heroic feats in Mama. She’s my everything. I on the other hand, have not been a good son, I would always be too busy working, playing my video games and whatever else that I do. Always forgot to call her from time to time. I haven’t been able to ‘balik kampung’ as often as I wanted to. And I thank Allah that we have Internet Banking so I can automate the money transfer to Mama. If it were up to me I would probably forgot about that too. Like I said, I am not the best son Mama could have. There is a lot of things I need to do better, talk more often, see more often, make her happy more often and do many other things more often.

On this Mother’s Day, I would like to wish Mama, a big huge Happy Mother’s Day. You are the Avengers all rolled into one super duper awesome package for me and all of us Bajunids.

Thanks for indulging me, reading through this post about Mama. See you guys on the other side.

Peace be unto all.